Working on my relationship thinking → Exercises → Article → Notes →
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Many of those who make it into forever-happily-devoted partners have learned the secret to that outcome. They have never seen the options offered on their “relationship island” as fixed entities. They absolutely trust and believe that their relationship is not rigid nor limited. In fact, they see it as having infinite possibilities for innovation and continuously new perspectives. They express that attitude in the way they think about being together:

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  • When there are temptations outside the relationship, they talk about them together and recommit to each other with that new data in mind. Instead of being jealous or insecure, they re-examine their relationship to bring back those feelings within it.
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  • When they feel trapped or bored, they add new dimensions to the relationship that rejuvenate it, whether bringing outside experiences in or creating them together.
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  • They commit to, and master, successful conflict resolution. Arguments are never “rehashed.” They are debriefed, much as any team does after a game, searching for how they can do it better the next time around.
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  • They make certain that their positive interactions continually outweigh their negative ones.
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  • They know that they can lose one another at any time, and never take the future for granted.
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